From 30th of December 2003 till 23rd of February 2004 I stayed in Seoul. It was the first time since I had been adopted to the Netherlands in 1979 I set foot on my birth ground.

I left Korea when I was 4 years old and I returned to the country at the age of 29, grown up, well fed, well educated, with my boyfriend eager to experience Korea and also anxious to find my birthparents. I had no knowledge about Korea, the language, adoption or whatsoever, but I managed to survive and maybe my experiences are also handy for others.

So here are some tips about “how to survive in Korea as an adoptee (accompanied with a white male)”

1. First things first: contact GOAL as soon as you arrive in Seoul and let the staff support you. GOAL has been great during the whole time, the staff and volunteers were willing to help in every way, e.g. GOAL provided an interpreter, Korean language lessons, helped with the search for my parents by placing an ad in a newspaper, contacted the adoption agency etc. The people from GOAL were also very helpful in introducing us to a lot of people and also in showing us the restaurants, pubs and local beer brands. Essential if you want to survive in Seoul!

2. Second thing to do is trying to get used to the public transport network in Seoul. The subway is very straightforward; the maps are very clear and also available in English. The one thing you should practice before you set foot in a subway station is to push people away as hard as you can. Otherwise you will miss your train all the time, because all the Koreans around you will push you away just to be in the train before you. Be aware: same goes for getting off the train.
The bus network in Seoul is extensive, but to find out where they are going and where the stops are, is not so easy. The tourist office has only maps available in Korean or Chinese, if you do not speak any of these languages just hop in, because a bus ride is quite worthwhile the experience. Like one Danish Korean told me: “all the bus drivers drive their buses like they have just stolen the bus” and that is exactly the situation. If you have found the place you want to get off, push the button, move to the doors quickly and when the doors open, jump off the bus as quickly as you can, the door will close in a blink of an eye. Outside: take a deep breath and count your luck that you’ve made it to get out on the right spot.

3. Since I, like most other Korean adoptees, look very Korean a lot of Seoullites in the shops and on the streets addressed me in Hangul. My Korean lessons were taught very well, but I did not have any talent in learning the language. The only words I managed to say were “Annyonghaseo” (hello) and like a real Dutch woman “oll ma yeyo” (how much is it). That’s not sufficient; most Koreans find the situation strange and will speak Korean to you anyway, because their motto seems to be “if you look Korean you have to speak Korean”. My white male could speak the same words as me, but unlike me, he received praise, smiling faces and approval from the Seoullites. First I thought it to be annoying but after a while I could see the advantages…So my tip on this one: let your white friend do all the work; sent him/her to the shop or push him/her in front of you and let him/her do the talking.

4. I was very lucky, during my visit I did find my birthparents with the help of GOAL and my adoption agency KSS. But having found your birthparents also requires dealing with them and that is not always easy... Both my parents (they are separated) immediately started to treat me as their child, which means that they told me to quit smoking, eat healthy and be good. At one hand I found it endearing, on the other hand it was irritating. The best way for me to deal with it has been humour. I still can smile about all the remarks they made and not living up to any of them (I still smoke).
Realizing that every situation is different, I still like to express my angle:
Try to enjoy your time with your birthparents in Korea and know that you have the rest of your life to think about how and when you want to deal with your birthparents. It is up to you and not them.

5. Tip number 5: join a fitness center, it distracts your thoughts when necessary, releases the stress and off course… it keeps you in shape ( I lost 4 kilo’s ).

6. My stay in Korea has been great, exhausting, enervating and not to be missed. Therefore the best suggestion for survival in Korea as an adoptee: whenever you’re ready go to Korea and experience everything by yourself.

Cheers,
Sue Preenen

Being an adoptee in Finland                                                                                                      2004-09-01

My twin sister and I were originally adopted to Sweden. Following our parents' divorce in 1993, we followed our mother as she returned to her native Finland. In retrospect, that move proved to be the biggest mistake of my life as Finland is a very conservative place that has never quite felt like home. Although conditions have recently improved I still feel like more of a foreigner in Finland than I ever did in Sweden; this is largely due to the fact Finnish people typically do not adopt Korean children because of Finland's poor economy and long tradition of domestic adoption.

When I tried looking for my birth family, the Finnish government was of no help. Rather than trying to help me in my search, the people I spoke with simply reacted with surprise at my being a Korean adoptee in Finland.My only other option at that point was to take my search online. After looking up the Seoul government website, I found other adoptees who were also trying to locate their birth families and from there I was eventually put in touch with G.O.A.'L. before I began my search, I didn't know of any Koreans living in Finland.

Although the Korean embassy in Finland has been very helpful, searching on my own without any guidance or advice from others was indeed difficult. But now, with the help of G.O.A.'L. and numerous other Koreans who have been extremely helpful and supportive, I no longer feel alone in my search.

I am very glad to have found G.O.A.'L. and I believe they are my best hope for locating my birth family. I finally feel like I'm headed on the right path.